(
I decided to do this in two posts. The first has more to do with the Eastern Tradition, this has more to do with growing in Christian Charity through a smaller parish. You can read Part 1 Here)
Now, of course, here we are - a few years later - raising our children in the Eastern rite and trying ourselves to grow closer to God every day. Earlier I said we were pretty 'entrenched.' That's because in a small parish, you can expect that if you give a little, you end up giving a lot. And you know what? I love that aspect of my parish too. We are a small congregation. We all know each other. Our priest knows us, knows our children, knows our relationship. He has heard our confessions, blessed our marriage, and baptized our children. It is pretty special.
At the risk of sounding like I am bragging, I honestly feel like this is the best, most ideal atmosphere to grow in one's Christian life. Let me explain.
In many ways, it is an extended family, my parish is. The home/family life is supposed to be a mini church (the domestic church), right? So it seems like the church is also supposed to be
an extension of family. The language we use seems to suggest it. We are called brothers and sisters in Christ, no? We are the adopted
sons and
daughters of Christ. In Chesterton's book
Brave New Family, he talks extensively about how the flaws and irritations of one's family members and close neighbors can drive a person batty. It is so tempting to want to flee from the awfulness of just having to deal with certain people day to day. He is talking about dealing with people on a very person, gritty level. If you barely know your neighbors or fellow parishioners, oh! then they are much easier to deal with!
How well do you know the people you live near or go to church with? If you have to be around them a lot, then their human failures start to show. And it sucks sometimes. Now, I'm not saying all the people in my church drive me batty. Lots of people I go to church with read this blog - and, I love you guys!!! But lets be honest here, sometimes people just do make you crazy! I have only been going there for 5 years now, but some folks have been there since the founding of the church, and I know that many people have been put off by various situations and the actions of their fellow churchmen. This is sad, but I think there can be good brought from any situation, especially if we think about the purpose of the Christian life.
Through the many offenses that have been made and the people who have come and left, cannot God work on us?
Can we not see that we must not pluck the sliver out of our friend's eye while missing the plank stuck in our own? I myself have been offended in several situations in my life. I am not immune to it. All I am trying to get across here is that by nature of having a small, intimate church - you are going to have hurts passed around, but that maybe it isn't such a bad thing. When you know someone better, you open yourself up to a lot of things. What Chesterton talks of, and what I feel I have come to believe, is that God wishes us to embrace the flaws of our neighbors. Well, that is clear from the bible. He wants us to be in this together, because we are in it together. To share our sufferings and our triumphs in an intimate way on earth, as one day we all hope to be together in heaven!
The second commandment is to Love Your Neighbor as You Love Yourself. You cannot love God without loving your neighbor. And you cannot love just your easily-lovable neighbors! I like being part of a small church because I am forced to really love the people around me. It is harder to do this sometimes, (as well as for them to love me, too!) Because I hold on to what they have done to me or what they have said about me. I could list off a number of complaints right now about my fellow parishioners (as well as family members!) but to get caught up in their failings would be a failing of my own to follow God's commandment! What we need to do is to forgive, over and over, and to continue to open ourselves up to the grace God gives through the Sacraments so that inch my inch, God can draw us nearer to Himself.
Again, running the risk of turning my friends off that go to larger churches, I just want to ask, are you opening yourself up to the flaws of your neighbors? Are you allowing God to help you grow in virtue by serving others, even the difficult ones? Personally, though I know I am
nowhere near perfect, I at least can rest easily in my home parish, knowing that throughout the years I will be tested over and over again in patience and love.
I will help my children see their friends at church through heaven's eyes. We will worship God together as a family. They will receive the Sacraments from a priest who knows them and has known them since they were only a few weeks old. The people who surround them every Sunday will have watched them grow too, and will have an investment in their future, both here on earth and in the heavenly kingdom.
And that gives me an enormous amount of peace.
*Though this is ideal for our family, and I attempted to explain all my reasons for it, I know some will read this and say "
yes, that's great Miss Kayleen, but not everyone can go to a little church." Of course I know this is the truth. There are bigger churches for a reason. There are less priests, for one thing, but also mega-churches tend to form under the personality of a particular pastor. So, there are obviously ways of making a small church atmosphere even within a larger church. You can seek out smaller groups within your church and you can do other things to make it more intimate. That is great - do that! Please do not take offense to me saying a small church is better than your church. I hope you can understand what my motivations are for writing about this, and that you can take away from it something good, not just something confrontational!
Furthermore, I hope you can see that I am not saying my church is perfect. I am saying the opposite! What I have come to see is that
through it's imperfections, I am pushed to become a better Christian. More is demanded of us, more is expected. There is the old saying that says a church is not for the saint, but for the sinner. It is a hospital for the sick. In my little imperfect Byzantine Catholic church, I have found a beautiful hospital that I cannot imagine leaving, not until I am perfectly healthy again. Which, if you know what the Christian life is all about, you would know that means only when heaven, and nothing less, is achieved.
**So, what kind of church do you go to? What percentage of the people that go there do you know? Does your priest/pastor know you? What do you love about your church, what would you like to be different?
***Maybe another question I could ask is, if you do not go to church, how do you replace the forming of solid lifelong relationships aside from a church community? It is clearly in our human nature to seek close relationships with others...how do you achieve that in other ways?
