Holy Week Continues...

After the kids are asleep we are going to turn on The Passion. It's been several years since we watched it. I remember it came out when I was in college - in fact, it came out the year after my conversion. Also, I realized that tomorrow (Easter vigil) will mark 10 years since I became Catholic. That's hard to believe....


So they took Jesus, and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called the place of a skull, which is called in Hebrew Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them. Pilate also wrote a title and put it on the cross; it read, “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.” Many of the Jews read this title, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, in Latin, and in Greek. The chief priests of the Jews then said to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but, ‘This man said, I am the King of the Jews.’” Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.”

When the four soldiers had crucified Jesus they took his garments and made four parts, one for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was without seam, woven from top to bottom; so they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.” This was to fulfil the scripture, “They parted my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.” So the soldiers did this.

But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

After this Jesus, knowing that all was finished, said (to fulfil the scripture), “I thirst.” A bowl full of vinegar stood there; so they put a sponge full of the vinegar on hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished”: and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Palm Sunday '16

You probably already know that I am a big, big fan of Palm Sunday. I love posting photos on my blog of Palm Sunday because it's such a visual day in the church. The palm branches, the pussy willows, the procession. Everything is especially conducive to allowing oneself to be transported to another time. It's so easy for me to imagine our Lord processing in on a young donkey, through the excited crowds, into the city of Jerusalem. Since I'm such a visual person, this day intrigues me more than almost any other day in the liturgical year. Sometimes I close my eyes for a moment and will myself to be there. I ask myself what I would do if Jesus glanced my way. What would I see in His eyes? What would he see in mine?

I know we've got even more powerful days coming up as Holy Week continues on. Holy Thursday, which commemorates the Last Supper, when Jesus instituted the Eucharist. Then Good Friday, the day of the beating, the carrying of the cross, and of course - the Crucifixion. Palm Sunday to me is also powerful to me because it is the beginning. The beginning of the end...of the beginning! (It makes sense when you think about it for a minute)

I wish you a blessed Holy Week. As our priest discussed in his homily on Sunday, this week should feel different. If we were alive in Jerusalem during this time, there would have been a buzz in the city. There would have been an electric feeling that something was happening...or was about to happen. Everyone would have been aware of the rebel Jesus being in town. Everyone would have felt the tension rising, and the pressure mounting. Who was this man who claimed to be GOD? What was he going to do, or what was going to be done to him? As they say....suddenly, the plot thickens....

Here is a link to a great website detailing Holy Week if you are interested!

Solitare

For some reason I started thinking about something I used to do fairly often when I was a girl: I used to go spend the night at my grandma and grandpa's place. You can't understand how much I loved this part of my childhood. Getting to go to their house (apartment, really. They owned and managed an apartment building in Seattle) was one of the most centering, formative ritual I would do as a kid. I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say it probably helped me turn into a decent, happy, and well-rounded adult. I remember I used to call up my grandma (I still have the land line memorized) and ask if my dad could drop me off on Friday night and come pick me up on Sunday. My grandma would almost always say yes, and I would happily go off to pack up my things and wait for my dad to get home from work so I could go. I did this almost up through high school. I think senior year I was finally too occupied with my social life to go quite as often, but it did take a while and I remember still loving to go even when I was 15 or 16.

When I would get to their house, I would go into their guest room (which was really a second living room where I slept on the couch at night) and pull out my little drawer with my jammies in it and a few other things of mine. I would get settled in and make my little "plan" for what I was going to do for the weekend. Usually it involved spending time with my grandma and grandpa, but they were always pretty busy taking care of the apartment building, so I would go in and out of their office chatting with them, asking for a snack, saying "hi" to the residents stopping in to pay their rent or ask a question or whatever. They were happy to have me, but they didn't necessarily stop what they were doing to entertain me. (Which was actually another key to the success of this ritual.)

So, I would have the apartment to myself most of the day and would look forward to alternating between coloring, watching cartoons, playing with my grandma's sewing things or dolls, or just laying around enjoying the quiet. It was bliss.

I loved my grandma's decorating. I loved her sense of beauty in everything, from her knick-nacks to her family photos from the 50's and 60's framed and hung everywhere. I was enchanted with her collection of Fiesta Ware, various gold candle sticks, books, and dolls from that she had collected over the years. You see, my grandma was very poor growing up - so keeping her home lovely and clean had become very important to her. She always would tell me how she bought her first dress and pair of shoes with her first paycheck and she wore that dress for years and years.

It wasn't just being surrounded by pretty things that I loved about going to my grandma's house; it was the solitude. Like I mentioned, I did enjoy going in and visiting with my grandparents - oh I loved their company and still do. But when I would go there, I think they sensed that I came to get away from everything at home - my siblings and the drama with school and my friends. Whatever was going on in my life, I knew I had a quiet, welcoming place to go where I could just breathe. Make my own schedule. Think about my next move or just enjoy the moment.

I think my favorite part of being there was at night. My grandparents (being grandparents) would go to bed pretty early. My grandpa would give me permission to use his computer in the office (which was across the hall) and my grandma would make me up an ice cream sundae (did I mention how much they spoiled me, too?) There would be the street noise from California Ave down below, and in the office I could hear the hummmmm of the various computers and gadgets my grandpa had. I would curl up on my grandpa's big office chair, with my bowl of ice cream and cozy blanket - and I would play Solitare.

And that's what I would do! Until I got sleepy enough, I would sit in there for as long as I wanted and play those original Windows 95 games by myself. I LOVED this. It felt so good to have some autonomy and again, the quiet. Solitare was my favorite game to play (how fitting, right?) but of course we all know that I also had the choice to also play Spider Solitare, Minesweeper, or Chess. (I never did learn how to play chess, ha!) but boy I loved my regular old solitare.

Just going back to that spot fills me with warmth. I think as a kid, I really truly needed this time and space. I am SO grateful that I had it. Even though my parents did not take me to church - I almost feel like this kind of thing was like my little church. I'm not saying it was sanctifying or a fitting way to actually worship God (because at the time I didn't even know who God was) however, I think it created in me a quietness that led to an openness for me to hear His voice! Really!

So much life is now filled with noise. Constant, persistent noise. I keep seeing these memes on Facebook about how people are so grateful they grew up before smart phones and tablets. I agree, even  though my childhood straddles both worlds. I learned how to use the Internet in 1st grade in Library class (anyone remember Netscape Navigator??) so it's obviously not like I grew up without technology. But it was so much different.

I was so happy with a few games of Solitaire!

Now I spend plenty of time on social media, listening to Pandora, texting with my friends, and blogging. My technological world has expanded beyond anything I could have imagined at 9 or 10 years old - and in many ways I'm happy for it! So I'm not saying life as an adult with all this technology is all bad. I just think it will be important for me to cultivate some time and space for my children so they can just chill. Obviously, I still enjoyed playing on my grandpa's computer, and it wasn't a bad thing. However, it was balanced with so many other activities I liked to do when I was there.

Most of all, when life got to be too crazy and pressure-filled, I had a quiet place to go to think. My kids are lucky enough to get to spend time with both sets of grandparents (something I'm really thankful for!) but they also have time for quiet right here in our home. We have "quiet time" every single day and they all participate, even Louisa who is 7. She has a personality very similar to my own and I know she needs this time to herself. So, again, something I'm taking from my childhood and hopefully am able to pass onto my children is placing a priority on being alone and finding peace. It's a skill that needs to be cultivated through practice. I think too many children are going through their childhoods now with no idea how to be still or to entertain themselves or to know peace.

I want my kids to be able to hear God's voice. His small, still voice.

My grandma was very good at putting in the effort to make her home a place that felt clean, comfortable, cozy, and welcoming. Even though my grandma is not religious, I think she knew that beauty was important. Many people find God through beauty, right?? I think this is why I spend so much time and energy decorating and re-decorating my home. Maybe I'm searching for that sacred balance that she was able to strike. I want anyone who steps in here to breath a sigh of relief and feel safe. My grandma hosted me when her children were all grown up, and of course my children are all still little - so I do have to take that into account - I know! I'm just saying I see the experience of my childhood has shaped how I view homemaking in large part.

Anyway, I guess I was just thinking of how inner peace is something people in our world desperately need. Maybe they can start with a few games of Solitaire and a quiet, pretty room.

My grandma and I in New Orleans in 1994

Scenes from Home

This is a post I've written many times on my blog. The desire to come back and write this post usually arises when the stress and anxiety from the outside world start to wear me down and I want to turn inward again. This is a post that reminds me of what I'm choosing to do with my life, and how that choice is still the right one for me and my family.

It almost feels like there are two realms; the realm of the world, and the realm of home. Spaces, people, events, worries, fears, and danger are outside my walls. Freedom, joy, security, routine, love, and peace are within my walls. So this is where I choose to be, most of the time. Of course I have to venture out. Almost every day I venture out in one form or another; either physically or through the interwebs. That is necessary and good comes of it. But it always feels so good to come back home. All of the hours I spend here with my children are good and important and special to me.

Not every minute is glorious. Everyone knows that is impossible. I'm not saying that at all. The stress, the mess, the tears, the fighting, the pulling out my hair, the shouting, the endless laundry, the sore feet and third cups of caffeinated beverages; yes all of that exists in my home. But it's because of all those stressful times here that I like to come back and write this post again. So I can remind myself that I'm actively choosing to be here more than anywhere else. I could accept that my actual home would probably be cleaner and more peaceful if there were not a bunch of people in it all the time (i.e. if we made different choices.)

Sometimes it is tempting, I'll admit. Because I do get tired and worried about my long to do list (and how to accomplish it with 4 little people running circles around me) Right now I'm blogging but I'll admit the dinner table is not completely cleared and there's wet laundry in the wash that probably should have gotten moved over around 10a.m. this morning. To get completely caught up with everything I actually WANT to get done, I would need 48 hours to myself, unlimited energy, and at least 6 rolls of paper towels and two bottles of Method (grapefruit scented!) cleaner. However, that is unlikely to happen, so I've got to be humble enough to accept my limitations.

In the end, I came back to write this post because I get to live these gorgeous scenes every single day. In the end, these scenes are what I'm going to remember, and hopefully my children will go the rest of their lives remembering them too. In the end, I'm grateful because I know I'm lucky to have what I have and to be doing what I'm doing. The stress of everyday life for me is one thing; but the anxiety and fear so many other people experience is quite another. I'm healthy and safe and relatively wealthy. We don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank (ha! far from it) but we have enough to pay our heating bill and to fill our precious children's bellies with food.

Scenes of homeschooling, scenes of the kids playing together and being silly together, even scenes of imperfection and difficulty. These all make up the scenes of my home and my life; and I'm so thankful for them!

“It is the main earthly business of a human being to make his home, and the immediate surroundings of his home, as symbolic and significant to his own imagination as he can.” – G.K. Chesterton, The Coloured Lands

*p*h*f*r

pretty

 I always enjoy it when they start selling blooming branches in the grocery stores this time of year. But long ago it occurred to me how dumb it would be to spend money when I could easily go outside and clip my own!

Take a look around your yard and see if you can clip some blooming branches of your own! (Just look out for bugs ;)

happy

 

 

 

 



It's March now, and that means one of my dearest friend's wedding is just ONE MONTH AWAY! I am just so happy for her! It's already been fun gearing up for her big day, celebrating with her, and there's so much more to come. <3 all="" class="separator" exciting="" it="" p="" s="" so="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> 

Funny

 

When we got back from the kids' Well Child Check ups this morning, I was pretty wiped out so I was resting on the couch for a little while. Pretty soon the boys start bringing up water bottles from the garage storage; one by one. Hmmm...thanks boys.

Real

 Yucky deck

Our pathetic deck is not going to last another summer :( It really has to be replaced. Mike and I are having a hard time figuring out just what we want to do, but we really need to make a decision soon-ish. We are interested in doing a solid-surface kind of deck because we live on a mountain with tons of trees and that's what caused this deck to be destroyed so quickly (that and the guy who did it before didn't even use real deck boards or stain!) But the solid surface deck would also allow for the space underneath to be used as well.

Hopefully we can figure out what we want to do soon and get started! I have to admit, the prospect of enjoying the entire summer with a new deck is pretty appealing!

 

 

Well, I hope everyone reading has a wonderful rest of your day, a happy Friday, and a blessed weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to blog again soon! I've been missing it!