My People

I remember a while ago reading a blog post by a mother who had older kids. At the time I think I just had Louisa and Josie and they were pretty little. I was still adjusting to motherhood; every day felt really full and kinda crazy. I fell into bed feeling grateful but also baffled at how I would be able to fit more children into my already crazy days and nights. This mother in her blog post, was saying how it was challenging having a large family, but it also got easier. It wasn't like each child added the same amount of work, because the other children were older and needed her a little less. She also talked about how much she loved just being with "her people." I was trying to envision what it would be like to have older children one day and what it would be like to actually get to have conversations with them. It was so hard to picture!

But now, I do have some older-ish kids and man, they are great! I really *do* enjoy their company. Yes, I still have a toddler and a baby, but having the three older ones makes life fun and interesting. I love talking to Michael about random stuff. He always surprises me with his observations and thoughts. Louisa's sense of humor is unfolding and she's got some wit that she definitely did not get from me! Josie is our goofball and loves to entertain. Emmett is talking more and more and Mike and I sometimes can't handle how cute he is. He had to go to the doctor the other day and was chatting it up with our Pediatrician, and loved being the center of attention. Of course all of the kids can have their challenging moments. Right now, I'm trying to finish up this blog post and Michael is laying on the floor at my feet doing who knows what, and Josie is clapping (too loudly) trying to get Penny to be happy. Everyone is being slightly loud because mom is occupied and distracted...

But, I just wanted to say how I feel honored to be spending my days with my people. As they get older and older, they get even more fun to be around. No offense to anyone in particular, but I do not understand all those memes about moms jumping up and down for joy when school starts back up in the fall. It doesn't make sense to me.

I started this blog when Louisa was in-utero, 8 years ago. We were just getting started on the parenting adventure. Things have changed quite a bit. I am 8 years older and my body has birthed 4 more children. Our dinner table is full and our fridge empties out faster. Our marriage has had ups and downs. Homeschooling has had its trials and errors. Life is not easy breezy, but it's very, very good.

Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.

-William Martin, the Parent's Tao Te Ching; Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

Oh Facebook

I am such a Millenial. Facebook came about in 2005 when I was in college and thus it has been a part of my entire adult life. I joined when there was no such thing as a Newsfeed, no picture albums (only your profile picture) and "poking" people was a playful (and popular) way of saying, "hey you! Notice me! wink wink nod nod" (so creepy.) Facebook ushered in this whole "social media" universe that we now live in, and I was right on board from the beginning. Yes MySpace and AOL preceded it, but for all intents and purposes, it was Facebook that brought about the revolution.

Why am I reminiscing about my beginnings with Facebook back when we were both basically babies? Because I've since experiences too many frustrating and disheartening situations than I can count, and I was getting tired of it. On the other hand, I have also met, connected with, been helped by, and loved by many wonderful people I might not otherwise have through this social website. So, honestly, I am trying to figure out Facebook's place in my life.  I still go back and forth often in my thoughts trying to discern what I want to do.

I won't go into the specifics of what sparked my longest break yet. And I do realize that taking a two month break sounds pretty pathetic to many people. However, I have learned a few important lessons during these 8 weeks that I disengaged and took a breather:

1. I don't need Facebook.
I really don't. I can totally, 100% live without it. I didn't miss any life-altering things from the weeks my account was disabled. I was fine. My Facebook friends were fine. And if I never signed onto there again, everything would be FINE. (Also, I was still engaging with my Instagram tribe, hehee :)

2. On the other hand....
It's really inconvenient to not be on Facebook. I have had quite a few people try to get a hold of me, only to find I wasn't reachable. Yes, I could have made a more formal exit and given out my phone number/email/whatever to a bunch of people who might have needed to reach me, but I didn't. I am apart of 2-3 really fantastic groups that actually plan get-togethers and mommy nights out that I wasn't getting messages from. That was really difficult because I love these lovely ladies, and I felt it was unfair for me to ask them to go out of their way to text me each time they saw something I was missing. I did do that for a while, but like I said, in the end I feel like that is asking too much of them. They are just as busy as I am!

3. Politics are out
When I wasn't logging onto Facebook for news and political posts, I found I had SO much more peace in my life! It was desperately needed. I had gotten so wrapped up in hearing other people's opinions and analysis, and nine times out of ten, being part of political conversations (ahem) arguments did not help me out in any way in my real life. I do believe engaging in political discussions is valuable. I am a mom and my mind can sometimes feel like it's turning to mush when I'm taking care of littles all day. I LOVE to activate my mind and think critically. It is also important to be civic-minded and active. However, I have finally realized that simply posting back and forth comments is not helping anything. If you want to have a political conversation with me LETS DO IT IN PERSON. Come over to my house. Let's have coffee and talk politics.

It took me many years and many heartaches to finally realize this. I used to be so baffled when people told me they hated talking about politics on social media. I thought they were crazy. But now I totally get it. It's exhausting. And people have become ALOT meaner. I can say this confidently. People used to be more civil and kind. It did used to be fun, but now it's pretty horrible. As a mother of 5 I just don't have time to wade through the bad stuff to attain the good when it comes to political debate online. I can't do it anymore.

Also, I apologize to anyone if you are reading this and *I* caused you any kind of distress. I know I'm not perfect and I have gone about things wrongly, too. I hope you'll forgive me!

4. Facebook friendships DO translate to Real life friendships.
This is related to the political stuff in that the opposite holds true, too. Debating politics online is not helpful to real life, in my opinion, but showing moral support and encouragement online IS helpful. I can remember many, many situations where I felt like I was losing it. Feeling down, overwhelmed, unsupported, or just sad, and a comment or message from a friend on social media perked me up. Those stupid, redundant memes that you see all the time - sometimes they really do cause a laugh! Sometimes I want to shoot one to my husband and we laugh together. Or, in other cases I will receive a genuine note from someone I look up to, and that will give my soul a little rejuvenation. I can also encourage someone who I see needs it. I've missed that.

5. I can't take myself too seriously. 
But, Kayleen, you've just written an entire blog post on why you deactivated your facebook account then reactivated two months later! You obviously take yourself super seriously!
Hmmm, okay that's true, but I'm trying here! I've realized that most people can use social media casually and it doesn't cause them so much stress! In talking with a lot of friends on Facebook use though, I would say that most people have at times, been irritated, or unhappy with the amount of time they spend on there. They might have had their feelings hurt, or gotten annoyed with a friend's differing political views. But, when I look back on my history, I think the amount of anxiety it's caused me is slightly out of proportion. Thus my priorities and expectations have to change in order for me to squeeze the most good out of social media, without getting sucked into the bad.

6. Thus, a new perspective.
I think what it's boiled down to for me, at this moment in time, is to use Facebook for three primary purposes. To connect, to inform, and to uplift. Pretty simple! I'm going to avoid situations I KNOW will get me fired up to the point where I can't sleep. I also have to keep my expectations of OTHER people's usage of Facebook in check. I have been known to do this, and it has caused me heartache in the past as well. My new perspective is that Facebook is different things to different people and that's all OKAY. I'm happy to go on a couple times a week to check in. To lend a kind word where it is needed. To plan a play date or mom's night out. To participate in a discussion of something I'm passionate about. Then, to close the computer or app and go on with my day. No more staying up late evaluating the tone of my comments or others. No more dragging Mike into my latest political debate **Can you believe these people??!?** and definitely no more scrolling aimlessly through the newsfeed when I'm trying to escape something. As they say, it's time to make this work for ME.

Penny says, "Cool, mom."

Any other tips for me? I'm open to them! 

7 Quick Takes! 3-17-17

Hello there! Let's see if I remember how to do this now...
Blog voice, blog voice, hmmmm, where are you?

Okay. I think what would be easiest is to start with quick takes since it's Friday, and while I know what most people have asked me about with this blog is Penny's BIRTH STORY(!) I am simply not up for that at this very moment. I will hopefully ease back in with a few short posts then roll out what I can remember from her lovely entrance into the world. (It really wasn't that eventful, but I'd hate for her to be left out since I chronicled all four of her sibling's birth stories!)

So! Let's do this.

1. Well let's start with Penelope Rose, since the last time I blogged, I was begging her to come out soon. She is here! She is amazing! Just a sweet perfect dream baby, that's all ;) Seriously, I have NO complaints about her. She coos, she smiles, she rolls over (she will be 5 months March 31st), she nurses, she poos, she sleeps. She's a beautiful addition to our family and we thank God for her constantly. Her siblings fight over holding her, they love her so, and sometimes I have to sneak in my own snuggles because I get tired of sharing her ;)

2. Mike made us a farm table and bench. I've been hinting around at it on Instagram, but so far haven't formally introduced our newest piece of gorgeous, handmade furniture. Mike is getting to be quite the carpenter! I'm so glad he has this hobby. He enjoys it, and I get to enjoy the fruits! The next thing I'm wanting him to do is build some planter boxes for the back yard to go on and under the deck. I'm so happy and proud of him!

3. The rain & drudgery around here has been absolutely suffocating. Ask anyone around here, even the most cheerful PNW rain-lovers (myself included) are just ready for the sun to shine down on us. We desperately need a solid week of sunshine to refuel us and uplift our spirits. Summer cannot come soon enough! So. Much. Rain.
Must. Stop.

4. I have been mostly focused on my vocation the last few months, with very, very little time to do anything else. In dealing with some anxiety issues, I've been told that I need to have a creative outlet (other than posting Instagram photos :) in order to stay inspired and be happier. So I'm working on that. I've always loved being a blogger, and I took a little photography class recently, too. {Hello there Nikon! Haven't seen you in a while!} I am also hoping to also pursue exercise/fitness classes in the next few months. I started on the Weight Watchers program again about three weeks ago, and that is always a good way for me to stay motivated in the kitchen. This is another reason I am looking forward to the summer. A healthier me seems to be waiting for me there. I'm working on her now :)

5. The kids are all doing great. Homeschool and the Homeschool Enrichment program are working out for us, although there is always room for improvement. I'm trying desperately to figure out what we are going to do next year. What things to change, what things to adjust, and what things to keep the same. The single best thing to come out of this year of at home schooling is that I realized I am ACTIVELY choosing it now. It's what I want to be doing. I don't feel conflicted about it at all, and that is a great gift! For the time being, there are no plans to change this aspect of life.

6. We got 4 new baby chicks to add to our flock! This time around is so much nicer. We have done it before so we're a lot more laid back and chill with them. They are so cute! I think we decided on their names as Juno, Liberty, Peach, and Dot. We got two more Leghorns (white, great layers) one Rhode Island Red, and an Americuana.

7. Hmmm, what else? Is there anything you'd like me to blog about? The kids? Homeschooling? Backyard chickens? Let me know! I'm not super focused yet, but like I mentioned, my plan is to write down Penny's birth story, and hopefully get some regular blogging in about daily life. I've had this blog for 8 years now, and I'd like to keep it going for a while longer :) Who knows - maybe the glory days of mommy blogging will come back one day. One can hope!