30 Things I learned in 30 Years of living

I got this idea a while back from another blogger friend who posted on her 30th birthday and I've been so excited to post ever since!

Aside from the fact that I still have a hard time believing I've been alive on this earth for 30(!) years, I'm actually quite pleased with the fact that I am not sad at all. In fact, I am exceedingly happy about it! My life so far has had it's bumps in the roads, and difficult times, but overall I'm sure living with lots of blessings. I am a very blessed gal and my faith tells me that my walk with God is always unfolding, always revealing new graces. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner...and Lord, please grant me many, happy years!

Here are 30 things I've learned in 30 years:

(Not trying to be too deep, just things I wanted to jot down to share!)
 

1.) Stick with your strengths and own what you don't like. For example, I still do not enjoy walking or jogging for exercise. (so boring!) I used to feel guilty about this constantly (look at all those healthy, super skinny runners!) No. I've owned the fact that it's just not my thing. I exercise in other fun ways and that's awesome for me!

2.) Don't spend money when you're upset. (retail therapy = bad bad bad)

3.) Some people will not like you no matter what you do. (This is so very hard for me to accept, as a sanguine, but I think I'm finally there)

In other words, it's nice when people like you, but not necessary for you to be happy.

4.) Mommy friends are essential.

5.) Growing a garden is harder than it looks, but very rewarding!

6.) It's okay to struggle.

7.) Sex does not solve everything between two people! (sorry if that's tmi, but I felt it was important to include since growing up with a very secular worldview I guess I used to think this was the case...??) Sex is complicated and lovely, and definitely worth the wait.

8.) Crème Brule is actually the best dessert (I had never tried it until I was 29, what!?)

9.) Losing weight IS possible, but don't try until you are fully committed. (It can't be done half-heartedly)

10.) Babies are a really nice way to start a human
(I think I stole this quote from someone?)

11.) If you don't like babies, I understand, but I don't actually believe you when you say that. :)

12.) It's beautiful to have babies young. I know it can't always be done, (and that's ok!) but as I've observed, no one can be fully prepared to become a parent! I'm not saying waiting I not sometimes the answer, but again, as I've observed, it's not always the answer if you are just afraid.

13.) I wish I could write more about babies....I mean, clearly I've learned a lot about babies in the last decade :) But I'll let this be the last one. NEVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU DON'T THINK WOULD MAKE A GOOD DADDY OR MOMMY. It's just not worth it.

14.) Split level houses are not all they are cracked up to be (why did no one tell me about this before we bought our first house?)

15.) Be careful of UTI's on your honeymoon (again, no warnings on this one?!)

16.) Your family is the best thing on this earth. Not to sound cliché, but truly, family is so important. Live close to them if you can. I know it's made a huge difference in our lives. Again, I know it can't always be done, but if it can - do it. And of course some families are luckier than others, but overall, family members are super special and should not be taken for granted.

17.) Meal plan even if you don't want to.

18.) Mondays are always going to be hard if you are madly in love with your spouse. Don't expect them to get easier. :(

19.) Being madly in love at 30 looks a lot different than being madly in love at 21. But you'll be surprised at how different ;)

20.) Ask people to pray for you when you need it. Pray for people when they ask you to. I've not always  been great at the second part but I'm realizing how important it is. Do not just say "I will pray for you" if you don't intend on doing it. I wonder sometimes if we will have to answer for this in heaven? I mean, I hope not because I have failed many a times. But in the last few years I've realized how imperative it is that we pray for our brothers and sisters.

21.) Never leave the house without baby wipes! You will live to regret it.

22.) Be proud of your children and never let mean ladies at Target make you feel bad about having them.

23.) Drink champagne with your husband when the kids go to bed and get a little tipsy. Drink to remember, not to forget.

(Again, did I steal this quote from someone...?)

24.)  Hormones are seriously powerful. I never believed this even after having a few pregnancies (I don't know how) but they can really mess with your mood/outlook on life. I used to be so judgmental of women always blaming their attitudes/struggles on "hormones", but as a woman who's lived through many years now of ups and downs, I finally do believe they can sway you in surprising ways. Yes, your attitude can often override them (if you have become pious enough ;) and you should always work to be kind to those around you - but the truth is, hormones have tremendous power. I have learned to work with this knowledge, but sometimes I'm just going to feel sad.

25.) Family is so important, and yet, it is your family members who can often hurt you the most and can be the hardest to forgive for those hurts :(

26.) There is nothing new under the sun. In other words, the world is full of sinners and yet sin will never be novel. (Read Ecclesiastes!)

27.) Sin is real. Satan is real.

28.) Grace is real. God is real!

29.) Don't see movies that have less than 7 stars on IMDB (Obviously this is my personal rule. See, I love going to the movies - but I hate paying for a movie that is not exceptionally good. Just not worth the money, you know?)

30.) Who you marry will be the number one determinant of your sustained happiness or sustained unhappiness. So choose wisely! :)

 

bonus wisdom: it's okay if the youngest is your favorite for a while :)

 

I hope I get (at least) 30 more years to grow in wisdom and love...and hopefully to write more blog posts ;)

The Lake Life

Some people don't like lakes. Something about them being super creepy and murky and scary. But not me. I love them. I grew up going to lakes all over my hometown and created some great memories by the lakeside.

Yes, lakes can be dangerous but you just have to take precautions and be careful!

Duck poop? Oh who cares. I thought everyone was supposed to be all organic these days. What can be more organic than duck poo? ;)

Silly, rambunctious teens? Aw, come on, one day I figure I'll be having to deal with them myself so I may as well let myself be around them a little bit now.

Summer crowds? Okay. This is one I can do without. I like going before the schools get out, if possible. And since it's been such a lovely, warm spring, that has actually happened a few times thankfully!

Oh yes, I love the lake. Such positive memories that shaped my childhood. I hope my kids will also hold on to good memories playing with friends by the cool, gentle water of one of the wonderful lakes around home.

 

 

 Is there anything better than sharing something you love with your kids?? Seriously.

The seeds of faith

I've been thinking a lot lately about my spiritual journey that started in 2004 when I was 18 years old. I keep thinking back to my early days as a new Christian and how those days relate to my current life in 2015. As with many things, my faith journey is not as I thought it would be. Oddly, watching a children's movie this weekend made me ponder even more seriously.


"funny how things do not turn out as you imagine them to" -Paddington bear 

(super cute movie, by the way)



As an 18 year old Freshmen college student, sitting in my dorm room, thinking about how the world suddenly felt so BIG, I wondered where I fit into it all. I really felt that humanity seemed so lost without some kind of absolute truth, objective reality, and a Source of Love. I was suddenly aware of the whole world and I wondered where I needed to be in it. Kind of like sweet Paddington bear, I was searching for a home within the world. Eventually, I found my home in Christianity, specifically, Catholicism, and I have never looked back!

I was on fire then. Oh I wish you could have seen my young burning heart of faith! It was good. I couldn't get enough of prayer, of mass, of studying history, theology, and apologetics. I would go to my classes and everything I heard I could relate to my newly found faith. It was probably even annoying to be around me, because all I wanted to talk about was religion.

I think it was the most beautiful timing for me. Sure, I could have latched on to the party culture of WSU, being away from home and able to construct a new identity, any new identity I wanted! I had already started down the path of pleasure and selfishness, in fact. But I soon discovered that the journey of faith was much, much more thrilling than even the wildest frat party I had been to.

(an early picture I could find of being in college. Here I am with all my *very Catholic* friends, NOT party friends :)

Throughout all this excitement of falling in love with the Lord, I basically figured I would always feel this way. That I would always be giddy to go to mass and receive the Eucharist. I imagined that my prayer life would always be full and easy and joyful. I imagined at the time that I might even become a nun. Or at the very least, I'd always have an easy time making God the very center of my life, having all other things come second, third, etc. I didn't just passively feel this way, I remember actively thinking about this. I told myself I would never become a "luke-warm Catholic." I was different. I was on fire and these flames would never, ever burn out.

If I thought a life of faith would always be easy, I also certainly thought married life would be easy as well! I met my future husband about a year later after becoming a Christian and fell in love fast. We had an easy, quick romance and honestly, it was wonderful. Just as I *knew* I'd always have an easy time with keeping my faith strong, I also knew my marriage would always be effortlessly strong. Hellooooo, two madly in love people here! I didn't know what these crazy grown ups were talking about when they warned us that the passion of the early years would fade into away into something else. I totally did not believe them.

I expected my life to look a lot like Easter Sunday, and not much like Good Friday.

As you already probably know where this is going, I'll just say this. I don't think I was flat out wrong about any of my early thoughts or predictions. That would mean that faith today is a struggle or a burden. It is not. It's not a struggle to believe, but it is harder to be enthusiastic when life's responsibilities bear down on me.

I never imagined I would be so utterly tired! Life sure is tiring, isn't it? It's emotionally tiring as much as it is physically so. For me especially, hearing about the evil that is carried out all day every day, all over the world gets to be so wearying! As a young college student, I never imagined how often I would hear some story on the news and break into sobs. Also, sorrows close to home, within my own family, would wear me down and make me tired. I never imagined sin would be so exhausting. (Dealing with it, and doing it, despite my notion that I would probably not sin "that much" anymore after I became a good Christian! ha!)

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.…" -Matthew 11:28

yes, I imagined parenthood would be easy, too.

But prayer, once easy and thrilling, has become much, much more elusive. The excitement I once felt so naturally has been more of a rocky path filled with distraction, and once again, weariness. To find the time and the focus to pray deeply and consistently has been my constant battle! I heard a homily this weekend that brought me to full attention. The priest urged us to pray every day, and to be sure to give the Lord at least 1% of our day to prayer. AT LEAST. Long ago 15 minutes of daily prayer was so very easy. Now, it takes effort. Sometimes I even find myself resenting all the effort it takes.

My own marriage, while strong, but not without effort! Oh, the effort involved in loving someone by continually denying yourself in order to understand, to forgive, and to serve! We have to constantly be coming back to one another, asking for forgiveness and extending it, and I'll be honest, there are times when I rebel against this process. Because, I once thought this was supposed to be easy! Why is it not easy? I love the Lord! I love my husband! This burning Shouldn't everything come naturally, then?!

Ah, but there it is, Kayleen. You thought you knew what love was, but you did not. At 18 you knew what passion was. You knew that you wanted to love and that was very good! Those seeds of faith were important and served a great purpose! But the Lord had plans for you, and those plans did not only include paved, easy paths and smooth sailing.

A calm sea never made a skilled sailor

So here I am, pondering how my life is going, especially my life of faith and love (which are really the pillars of my life) I think about how mistaken I was back then, but also how God used that openness, that enthusiasm, and that desire, to set me on the right path. I may have been wrong about a lot of things, but that's okay! Had that fire not taken a hold of me then I'm sure things would have been very different for me now. I do know lots of people come into faith more gradually and carefully, and perhaps their transitions were smoother than mine. Maybe the grittiness of life took them less off guard, but maybe not. Maybe we are all in some ways, surprised by what God asks of us every day.

I often think of the Mary, the Apostles and the early church. I feel I can relate my own feelings, if not my exact experiences, to theirs. They must have gone through so many emotions meeting Jesus, falling in love with Him, then watching Him suffer and die! Then, to experience Him rise again, only to leave them again, in order that they might be the ones to preach His resurrection and go make disciples of all nations...phew- My goodness, I often imagine myself in that upper room. Given the gifts of the Holy Spirit, yes, but probably still terrified out of my mind! And then, I sometimes wonder, did the Apostles ever grow weary as they lived the rest of their lives? Did it become hard to continually preach, to pray, and to encounter fallen humans everywhere?

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

I never thought I would be grateful for the struggle. Mostly because, I never imagined "struggle" would make up such a large portion of my life! It's amazing how I missed so much of what the saints tried to tell me early on. In the first two years since becoming a Christian I read so many biographies on the saints. I read about Damien of Molokai, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Labore, Mother Teresa, and St. John of the Cross. It's truly comical to me that I missed how much of these saint's lives screamed "struggle! pain! sorrow! agony! sorrow!" These are great saints for a reason. They did not have easy, perfect lives by any measure. I guess I just felt that their love of Christ outshined everything they went through. And it does. But the struggle they went through also is what made them saints. Yep, I definitely missed that part of it.

Thankfully, I am finally starting to accept that this too is important in my own spiritual life. Again, I am grateful for the wonderful seeds of faith that were planted in me. But I know that in order to produce some wonderful fruits, that faith cannot remain as a tiny seed in the ground, hidden from the harshness of the elements of life. No, they must grow, grow, grow!

I am still the joyful, grateful, faith-filled person that I was a few years back. I'm actually more deeply in love with my God, but the main difference is that I know that more challenges lie ahead, and that nothing worth doing is going to be easy. The years I have been a Christian and visited the Sacraments, prayed the rosary, learned about my faith, and defended it, have shaped me and prepared me for...what, I don't know yet...but I trust that it will be good.

Not easy, but good.

"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28




Leavenworth and 1 night camping trip

Louisa says, "OH, I like this town. It's so...Leavenworth-y!" :)

Since we knew we had a couple of camping trips planned for the summer, at the last minute I came up with the idea of heading to a campground and doing a one night camping trial. It turned out to be a great idea! Not only did we get a taste of what it's like to camp with four children, we were able to make a list of things we need to do to make the other camping trips even more fun and successful! Here are a few photos (okay, a ton of them) from our little mini-trip. I sure had fun taking pictures because for the longest time my big camera was out of commission, but now it's fixed and working great, yay!

 The kids were so cute and interested in everything we were doing.
The last time Mike and I went camping Louisa was about one and a half and I was pregnant with Josie. So this is all new for them pretty much!

 

 

Mike was so tired from staying up late and packing and driving there.

Now I understand why my parents were always so tired out when we camped.

 Nana got Josie a new puzzle at our most favorite toy store in Leavenworth!

 Emmett was in his element! He seriously had the best time of his little life!

 Daddy teaching Lou how to play Yatzee!

 Out for a morning walk with mom :)

 

Yes, the campground was a pretty fancy one. It had a playground, a camp store, showers, and yes - a pool! Not such a bad place when you've got a family. We loved the big open field right next to our campsite for the kids to wander off into. Overall it felt very safe for the toddlers which made a huge difference in our ability to relax and have fun. Not that there was too much relaxing on our part :)

Mike and I are so very tired. Looks like it's gonna take a couple of days to recover. Maybe weeks. Just in time for our next camping adventure which will be three nights long, and at a place with none of the same luxuries :)