The crazy-cool-neat thing about having a blog is that looking back on the year is so easy to do! So so easy. I just spent the last hour looking over it and picking out my favorite pictures and posts. When it comes to blogging (my style of blogging anyway) I tend to write about mostly positive happenings. So probably 70-30 swayed toward the positive, which means when I look back I start to feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude, love, and peace about my life!
That all being said, this year has brought some particular challenges that have really changed my life and made me tempted to begin to think more pessimistically about the world. Though I was not constantly writing about some of the more personal family struggles, I know they have changed me. I hope I have learned. I hope I have grown. I hope that next year brings resolutions to certain open-ended problems that need more work and more prayer.
It would take so long to sit and write about so many things that I have on my mind right now, 2 hours before ringing in the new year. Already this post is going to be epically long, and since I only want to be up until midnight and would like to spend at least some of that time with my husband (who unfortunately is next to me nearly coughing up a lung because he's got a cold :( I will go ahead and just show you 13 of my favorite pictures, interspersed with some important events and things I learned in the year 2013. (And you will forgive me for writing wonderful run on sentences and for my poor grammar in general :)
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First of all - WHOA! Where did the year GO? I remember part of the conversation Mike and I had on the evening of our first kiss. We were talking about how it's crazy that the older you get, the faster time seems to go by. It's so true.
You know what I mean. The year went by lightning fast. I can tell you what I was doing last New Year's eve with vivid detail and I'm sure next new years eve will be the same story. Time is a strange, strange concept. I can't think about eternity for too long or I start to feel breathless...
So first thing I learned in 2013 - Kids truly do grow up fast and without your permission. I've known this for a while, but like I said, the older you get the more profound this whole concept gets. It makes it somewhat easier finding out you are pregnant with another baby because you just KNOW from experience, that this baby will be turning 5 in, not 5 years, but 5 minutes.
Also, I still like blogging.
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Back in March I wrote a post about vaccines. I really got into this topic after I read a book that really got me thinking and compelled me to do more research. It was definitely the post I took the most time writing in the history of this blog, and I'm glad I wrote it. That being said, I'm not sure how much "good" necessarily came out of it. I mean, I like to think there was some. I think for some of my friends who vaccinate their kids but never feel comfortable enough to defend their decision, it was a welcomed post. But for many other of my friends, it probably created unnecessarily strife. I really wish this wasn't the case. Vaccinations, like many other important topics, is something that needs to be discussed. Out in the open. Without fear or judgement. However, it is NOT a topic that I am willing to lose friends over by any means!
I didn't actually lose any friends over it, but even now I find myself in conversations that I end up regretting because of how I end up sounding or how some comment is interpreted. It sucks.
I think the main thing I learned was to always remember the context and the friendship when I am discussing delicate topics. It's very easy to say things (in the super-charged moment of debate) that I'll regret later.
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Oh gosh, I still hate to cook. And I sure complained a lot about it this year. My friends who feel sorry for me no doubt, want to make me a cookbook with easy go-to meals, just so I will stop writing status updates of how much I dislike this daily task. But, I wish they'd just invite us over for dinner instead :) But really, I'm not sure what I have learned in this department...
I did work hard on meal planning this year with mixed results. I was doing a lot better when I was on Weight Watchers (up until August) When I do plan, we definitely spend less on groceries and better meals meet the table more often. I hope in 2014 I will continue to make progress here, even if it's slow and painful progress :) My family still loves me though, and they never complain. Also it's a good thing we go up to nana and papa's often enough to get our fair share of delicious red meat, gravies, and varied salads!
Speaking of Weight Watchers - I did that whole deal and lost me some weight! Yah yah - you're bored of hearing me talk about it. Sorry! But it actually was a good time. Though as I sit here with a big belly and other bigger parts of me...ahem....it's kinda hard looking back at these pics of me at the end of the summer. Oh well. Glad I did it and learned a lot about nutrition! Hopefully WW is in my future after I have a baby in May.
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Here's just another pic of Mike and I celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary! I still love this man. More than on our wedding day (which of course no one thinks is really possible) I learned in 2013 that marriage can get way better over the years. It takes a lot of intentional work and intentional sacrifice, but in the end that gets paid back to you a hundred fold in the safety and love of your spouses arms.
love covers a multitude of sins
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Next wedding anniversary we will have FOUR kids, baby. Jeez Louise.
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Another pic of these crazy munchkins we tuck into bed every night. Poor Michael got kicked out of our bed around the time he turned one. I think he's still trying to figure that one out :)
Nahh...he loves his crib, all filled with Michael-teddy-bears and now trucks. I love how he usually will play in there for 10-20 minutes when he wakes up in the morning, depending on his mood. He's a sweet one.
I learned that sleep patterns can change. I'm talking about me now. There was a lot of insomnia for me this year. I've never slept less. And I have been through three newborn babies. But I have never suffered so much sleep loss as I did this year. The only thing I've learned (because I'm still figuring this thing out) is that I really need to be careful in this department. Not enough sleep makes one into a crazy person who is not capable of meeting the many demands of the day. Also, I think I used to be really judgy of people who talked about having insomnia problems. I know, weird thing to be judgy about... but now I know that sometimes it's really weird and you just can't fall asleep. This is something I'm working on for the next year for sure.
It may sound weird and illogical, but I'm actually very much looking forward to having a newborn again. I tend to sleep very nicely with a newborn snuggled up to me. Also, breastfeeding brings with it lots of healthy hormones that actually make a mother (and her baby) drowsy! Ha; nature's sleeping pills for mama's :)
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Having a son in 2013 has been one wild ride! As many of my friends on facebook can attest to based on photographic evidence - this kid loves to CLIMB! And make messes. And get dirty.
Boys are definitely different from girls. I know personality plays a huge factor - but even taking that into account I can tell you he is much more active and physical than either of the girls were. It's been fun. He is a daddy's boy. He is a sweetheart and a good cuddler, for sure. But he loves all the men in his life dearly and I wouldn't be surprised if he picks the most rugged profession imaginable. We shall see. But boy, we will always remember the year he turned one to be a super busy, on-our-toes-year!!
....and lots of people are hoping for a brother for Michael. Again, we shall see!
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Some hard stuff:
Babies that never made it very long in this world. I wrote of one of our good friends who suffered a loss so heartbreaking and yet inspiring at the same time.
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Our friends who showed us the face of grace at their tiny son's funeral and afterward taught me a whole lot about babies, love, acceptance, and loss. I know their struggles throughout this year were largely hidden, but some things they were able to share with their friends and I am grateful to them for the openness they were able to have with us. I will think of their son Samuel when I think of the year 2013, as it was a turning point for me personally in many ways. Although I don't feel I ever took my own babies for granted in the past - I feel I am further safeguarded from ever doing that.
My friends gave me an example of how not to despair. I really feel I learned a lot through their experience and I'm grateful God placed these friends in my life a long time ago. I sense I will still be learning from them as time goes on.
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We said goodbye to this priest who retired to the mountains to pray. This priest who we love! He counseled us, married us, and baptized our first three children. It was so hard saying goodbye. I think I will always miss him.
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I painted this year! Kind of a lot!
I learned that household projects are great. When you have babysitters. And friends who come help you paint. And more babysitters.
I learned that I can't always have what I want immediately, and that budgeting is a GOOD thing. (Good golly Kayleen, it took you 28 years to really learn this?!) Finances, like cooking, are tricky for me
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Oy. So here's a tough one. My parents, who both deeply love Louisa, Josie, and Michael, did not have a good year. In fact, they got a divorce at the end of the summer after 28 years of marriage. As anyone who has been through it in any form, knows that no one involved is the same after. As the grown daughter of freshly divorced parents, I'm still going through a lot of emotions I don't really understand. This was huge factor in the delay of our pregnancy announcement as well as some underlying stress and sadness I've been experiencing. I wish so much that this hadn't been the case.
My parents gave us a happy childhood. Not a perfect one, of course, but my childhood memories consist of family outings, trips together, board games, sports events, and well, pretty much family family family. I have some painful memories, too. I wish my parents were affectionate together around us while we were growing up. I wish there was a religious element of our childhood. But really, we all have things we want to change about our childhoods, so I don't hold things against them. If anything, I just really wish my parents were happy together. And I wish life had been easier for them. My parents had me when they were only 19 and 20 years old. It was never easy for them, but to their credit they did have me, then my brother (just 15 short months later) and my sweet little sister. We are all pretty healthy, independent adults now, and they deserve credit for that. They did work hard every day so that we could have the best childhood possible given all the hurdles they faced as young parents.
I am learning how to deal with my emotions about it all. I hate the D word. Always have, always will. I never thought this would happen to my family. I wish I could say I'm praying for my parents daily, but to be perfectly honest, it has affected me so much that prayer as even been hard lately. I am working on it though, and I just know that 2014 will be a year of healing from the many wounds opened up in 2013.
I love you mom and dad.
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This picture was taken earlier in the year when Mike, me, and some friends got to hear Fr. Robert Barron speak at a local church. We love Fr. Barron, and listening to him in person was a real treat! It was a talk on the new evangelism that is being encouraged within the Catholic Church. It has been going on for a while now, but with the election of the new pope this spring, it has really taken on great spirit.
I like to evangelize. I usually feel comfortable doing it - only because it's my personality. I'm not shy about religion at all. With social media the way it is, people are able to use it for good! I love talking about my faith. Maybe to some people it's a bit of a nuisance, hehe, but hey, you can always block of un-friend me, folks! I like to think in this blog, even if I'm not explicitly talking about God, Catholicism, or faith, that I am evangelizing anyway. This life I am living would not be possible without you know what and you know Who. It just wouldn't be. I'm telling you.
It's good. Bring on a new year of evangelism with gusto and no fear! Go tell it on the mountain!
And with that - I've covered 13 pictures and as many things learned. Far more exist. But it's 11:15 and my patient husband would probably like his laptop back (so we can watch Castle) Also my bum is numb since I started this post a couple hours ago!
Wishing you love, blessings, and lots of beautiful lessons learned in the new year.
Bonus lessons learned:
You gotta get yourself an electric toothbrush. I mean, you just gotta.
There's no such thing as too much Instagramming. Okay, yes there is.
Hmmm....actually no there's not. Instagram wins the prize for best app ever ever. Please get this app if you don't have it and post pictures all day every day. You know what they say....the best camera is the one you have on you! (Not sure that really proves my point here...)
Homemade facials are fun but don't photograph well ;)
Keep board games away from Michael
When you find out you're having your fourth baby, make sure you post this picture a thousand times everywhere so people are sure to be sick of it :)
Love you all - Happy new Year!!
